Have you ever looked at a twig and thought, “Wow! That would look really great next to my mop collection!”
Do you ever want to just sit in the corner of your bedroom and pretend you’re a carrot for three hours and seventeen minutes?
What if, instead of feces, rubber ducks came out of our anuses?
Well, this column is here to answer NONE of that! My name is Lemar Deguzman, you may know me from my more “sane” columns, The Sunset Lifeline, or Totally Not a Weeb, but now, it is time to dive into the unknown, literally. I’ll be your tour guide, senpai, sensei, oppa, kuya, or whatever you want me to be, as I take you into the mind of a psychopath. Enjoy the NONSENSE! Now, if you excuse me, I need to make a TikTok with my pet narwhal.
