Why do people enjoy tarot? For fun? As a delusional scam? For a sense of clarity in their life or reflection? What first struck me about it was this sense of immediate knowing. I am not an extremely spiritual person, I struggle with being unsure about how the world works and where I fit into it. I have been drawn to things in the past that give me a way to make sense of it all. Tarot represents the immediate feelings that are brought by the cards and how that can make you reflect on your own life and what one may need to change. My theme for the cards I drew are different moments in my life and different mythological characters.
So all of that is well and good, but I would also like to mention a truth of this project which is that I settled on doing it because I didn’t want to make a film. I made a short film last cycle which went better than expected but also was very stressful and gave me, like, daily panic attacks. When it came to summer I really didn’t want to be stressed so I decided that doing more filmmaking was too much.
I kind of regret my decision. Being at the Wave has made me realize that I love yapping and I just can’t shut up and lock in to draw the freaking tarot cards because: oh look Jorge needs a dead body drenched in corn syrup for his horror trailer, and Tasha is building a Jenga tower, and Jamie desperately needs a bathroom freestyle rapper to yell at him. I am a woman of many talents so how am I supposed to waste my potential on my silly little color pencils cards?
Maybe I should have done a tarot reading beforehand because it could have told me that I really wanted to make/ star in a silly little movie all along! It’s okay though because this summer has been a spiritual journey and I started out like the fool but I’m ending like a shining star.